


we bleed the same

by misschiefofbooks



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 01:20:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17173142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misschiefofbooks/pseuds/misschiefofbooks
Summary: "Why do you do it to yourself, Loki?""Because, my demons are drowning me, Stark. I can't let them, so I drown them first."





	we bleed the same

"Please... please don't..." he whimpered in a broken voice. He knew subconsciously that being there again was impossible, that he had left this place a long time ago. Then again, this was a nightmare, so there was no place for logic. He desperately wanted to pull himself from it, but it was too strong, too painful. 

"No, Father... You can't, how could you? Don't do that, don't... I'm your son. Please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. PLEASE." No, it couldn't be true. Loki couldn't be there anymore, could he? He was sure he escaped that hell, left it in the past. But nothing was that simple, obviously. You can't just live literal hell for years, and after everything's over, expect that your demons will leave you alone. No, nothing could be that simple for Loki. He had been damned from the beginning, even his real parents didn't want him, of course his adoptive one would be no different. Of course, they would hurt him, hate him, give no love because after all, that was all he deserved, wasn't it? He was only good for pain, nothing more nothing less. 

“Hey, Mr. Darkness, wake up. Jeez, just wake up Loki, I'm trying to sleep here and your daddy issues won't let me." There was an annoying voice coming somewhere far from his nightmare, and just then he tried to get to the voice with all his might, he was so, so tired from his father's anger, he didn't want it anymore.

“Please, Father... What did I do wrong? Whad did I do to deserve the pain you put me through? Why can't you love me like you love Thor? Why you hurt me like that..." He flinched suddenly like someone beat him, and his roommate Tony Stark didn't like the implications of it. He was very much intended to dislike Loki for all his life, just because the guy was having a nightmare about his father and he obviously didn't get any love from his daddy dearest, but it was not a surprise, Loki was not the most loveable guy in the world, after all. And about that flinch... Odin was one of the most famous philantropists, surely he wouldn't raise a hand against his own son... right? Well, enough of that useless thinking, whatever happened, it was Loki's business. He couldn't care less about this bitter, cold-hearted, rude man.

"Loki, just shut the fuck up and wake up already,"  
He nudged sleeping man roughly and felt bad slightly when Loki woke up with a startled gasp. 

"What-?" He stopped himself from saying anything when he saw Stark. "What are you doing here, Stark?" asked Loki in an extremely annoyed voice. 

"Well, duh. In case you didn't notice I'm actually living here Lokes, you know I might even be your roommate." 

"Yeah, thank you for your morning talk, Stark. It was truly amazing, waking up with your face. I might even get used to that." His words dripped with sarcasm. 

"I wouldn't get so attached to me If I were you, Grinch. I don't plan living with you do long, after all."

“Pity...” Loki tched sarcastically, “I’ve planned such fun things for us. Now, all of them go to a box of failed dreams.”

Tony snorted. “I bet you would. Now, if you’d excuse me I want to get my deprived sleep back, thank you very much.” He made himself fall to his bed dramatically. “How I missed you, my love!” He was just preparing to let himself drift to sleep when he heard very much familiar annoying voice.

“Where were you, anyway? It’s almost morning, you come back now, for to sleep?” Loki couldn’t believe this man’s carelessness, he didn’t even care about his lessons, his only concern was having fun and drowning in alcohol.

“You know, I don’t remember the time when we agreed that you would be my mom. Did it happen while I was drunk?” God, this man’s audacity trying to lecture Tony Stark was getting on his nerves.

“I just pity you, Stark. Your whole carpe diem attitude is pitiful. Life is not just about having fun, it’s also about working hard, having some aims. You just waste your life like that.”

He didn’t know what came over him. He wouldn’t normally interfere with someone’s business, but something about Stark was maddening him, making him want to hurt Stark in some way. And he just woke up from his hellish nightmare, he needed something to distract himself from his oh-so-familiar nightmare. 

 

“Oh, would you look at that! Pot calling the kettle black. You just should look at yourself before judging someone so callously. What do you do, Loki? What do you do with your life? You just work hard, and never have fun, never love someone, because love hurts, doesn’t it?” He saw Loki pale slightly, and it gave him some kind of satisfaction. ‘You are not quite heartless, right? You can hurt too, after all.’ He thought triumphantly. 

“Your problem was love, then. Of course it was! Thor said that you had been adopted. So, that’s it? You having family issues? You never get along with Thor, you deny yourself their family name, you condemn yourself to completely lonely life, because of what, your family hurt you a little? Oh, poor Loki… never getting enough love, never enough hugs from mommy, no kisses from daddy. It was always Thor, right? Getting all love for himself, getting all attention, but Loki… No one would look at him, despite of how he wished for somebody to just see him, pay attention to him. But, in the end you weren’t exactly the most loveable person to look at. Poor, poor Loki indeed!” He witnessed Loki’s all that emotionless façade crumpling, his pain is now for all to see. It left bad taste in Tony’s mouth, he didn’t want that, yeah, Loki was arrogant, cruel, heartless bastard, but it wasn’t right just to be like him in order to hurt him a little. And hurt him, he did apparently, not just a little, a lot. 

"Just for God’s sake, Loki. Grow the fuck up! It isn’t just you hurting because of his family, you know. Everyone have similar problems, but we don’t act like you, like arrogant bitch, always biting someone with your words, hurt all the people around you, so that they couldn’t hurt you first.”

‘You weren’t exactly the most loveable person to look at.’ Oh, how these words were familiar to Loki. He heard them a lot, and it was in his head until the death, because this damned sentence was all the reason why he was hurting, because he would hear it just at those blasted times when his father… when he- 

No, he would not think about that, now. It was dangerous thing to think indeed. It would destroy all his already easily crumbled façade, he couldn’t have that. He couldn’t let anyone see how pathetic he truly was, how weak. No, he must be alone right now, before falling entirely.

“Get… out.” He gritted out.

"Loki... Look I'm-" He was feeling truly guilty now and just a little bit concerned. Because whatever he said, it was likely something traumatic for Loki and now he was looking like in a verge of panic attack. God, he just had to open his fucking mouth and say all those hurtful words, didn't he?

"NO! No, you would shut your blasted mouth and listen to me! I don't want you here right now, if you stay any second longer, I would hurt you, Stark. And just for once, it would be physical, so you have to get the fuck out." He rambled without stopping, and by the end of it he was panting harshly. Oh no, he was having a panic attack.

"But, Loki. You need-"

"All I need is not to see your annoying face, Stark. So, just GET OUT! Get out, fuck off. LEAVE ME ALONE!" He was screaming now, he couldn't control himself. God, he was completely and utterly pathetic, he was breaking so easily.

"Uh, okay then I just... Uhm yeah, I'm going now. See you soon, Loki." Seeing his roommate in this much distress, and knowing that he was cause of it, he cursed himself in his mind. He, Loki would need someone right now, and he had no one to look after him, even his brother was at odds with him now. It made him feel bad for this bastard. Well, there was nothing he could do, apart from leaving Loki alone. 

So, he just looked at him one last time and get the fuck out from their shared room. Hopefully, in the evening, it would be more manageable to be in the same room with Loki.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? Please, share your thoughts about this story. 
> 
> *It's not a one-shot, however it seems. It will be a long story, there is some much I want to tell about Loki and Tony. So, despite what stats tell you, don't believe it.


End file.
